Bring your kid to work day.

Today is bring your kid to work day.  A day created by someone without a manly job where the kid would get in the way and kill someone else or themselves.  Take the kid to work day could never have been existed 100 years ago because jobs back then were all manly like blacksmith, lumberjack or gorilla wrestler.  Drag the little shit to work day could have never existed 200 years ago cause there were no child labor laws so the kid was probably at his own job and it would be stupid for him to take a day off of his factory job to come watch you at your factory job.

Bore the kid at your job day is very popular these days because if you bring your kid in no one expects you to do anything really productive that day.  It should be called “put up with your kids whining so you don’t have to return those emails” day.  Some people actually try to work which is stupid.  No one is going to fire you in front of your kid so this is the one day of the year that your leash is off.  Make the most of it cause no one will be pissed at you for fuckin’ off cause you weren’t going to do shit anyway.  So take this opportunity to make the day awesome by following any of these “make drag the kid to work day into my parent kicks ass day!” ideas.

1 – Office chair drag racing.  That is one mean slope in your office parking lot, time to see how fast these chairs can go!

2 – Lewd photocopies.  “look dad taught me how to make copies… Whats a taint?”

3 – Go around to every guy with out a kid there and point them out.  “Low sperm count… low sperm count…”

4- Cubicle lazer tag.

5 – Finally, go to a job that is manly and show your kid what an awesome job is.  A job that you would be doing if you didn’t have to worry about their health insurance or college tuition.  A job like chef or firefighter or bear wrestler.