Babies aren’t expensive.

According to some bullshit I saw on line it costs about 400,000 to raise a kid from birth to 18 with a public education.  I say bullshit cause that’s bullshit.  My parents didn’t spend that kind of cash, not even close.  I am pretty sure my parents raised me on my birthday money and some Marlboro bucks.

Some people spend way too much money on their kids.  They forget that A: kids and not complex, to them “go outside” is fun and B: Spending money on them doesn’t equate to loving them.  They are two different things.  Women confuse this all the time.  I think that is because they are taught from a young age that men are supposed to show them how much they love them in diamonds.  (Which are not forever, you can loose a diamond.  You want to get her something that is truly “forever” give her herpes.  That ain’t going nowhere.)

Places you can save money with a kid:

Toys:  “Happy birthday, here’s a stick.”  There is nothing more fun than hitting cans full of water off of a fence with a stick.  Cost: 0$

Yard work

Yard work or the best present ever?

Vacation:  “I know it looks like a playground by your house but its really Disneyland.  You can’t trust advertising kid, have fun!” Cost: 0$  Hearing your kid tell their friends that Disneyland sucks: priceless.

Education: “Get out of the car.  You are at Main and 14th street.  Here is a map and 30 bucks.  See you when you get home.”  It will cost you 30 bucks but in the long run you will save money cause your kid will never ask you for a ride again

Housing: Have the kid sleep in a closet.  Kids are like banzai trees.  They will only grow to the size allocated for them.  Small room will be all the kid needs if its all the kid knows.